Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher

2020 was a blur; what started as a year of promise soon turned out to be the year of the apocalypse – none of us knew what the fuck was going on. Children came out the other end teenagers, teenagers to adults, and adults to being older? If you weren’t already aware that the tory government is full of sleazebags, you quickly found out (shoutout to you Boris Johnson and Matt Hancock!). The streets were desolate, the supermarket shelves were empty – it was every doomsday predictors dream. There was only one thing missing from our apocalyptic reality: a soundtrack – and then came along Punisher.

Punisher is the sophomore album of singer-songwriter Phoebe Bridgers – recorded at the acclaimed Sound City Studios (Los Angeles). Sound City is the birthplace of countless albums that have earned their place in history, it even has its own documentary directed by none other than Dave Grohl. Tony Berg and Ethan Gruska returned to produce the album beside Bridgers, as they had produced Bridgers debut Stranger In The Alps – the trio refer to themselves as ‘the trilemma’ ('a dilemma with three outcomes').

‘DVD Menu’ opens the album – it has an eeriness to it, which is arguably one of the things which make it so attractive. As a listener you can’t help but be intrigued, to keep listening; like the protagonist in your favourite cliché horror film – you hear something unsettling, and you follow it. Bridgers has stated that the melody alludes to the final track ‘You Missed My Heart’ (a cover of Mark Kozelek) from her first record. Bridgers interviewed Kozelek in April of 2018 and asked him about the song, stating that when she first heard it at a gig in 2013, she “immediately wished she had written it” (a theme explored in Punisher). Kozelek replied that the theme of the song stemmed from a nightmare of his in which he “was frustrated with a repair man and then dreamed that I pulled a knife out of a drawer and stabbed him and that he turned to me and said, “you missed my heart”.

‘Garden Song’ has a lighter tone than ‘DVD Menu’ – Punisher may be gloomy, but it is also hopeful, a love-letter to the small things which we often take for granted. This track explores the role of manifestation in our lives, the power of our thoughts, and the effect they have on our mental health. Bridgers has stated: “It’s about all your good thoughts that you have becoming real, and all the shitty stuff that you think becoming real, too. If you’re afraid of something all the time, you’re going to look for proof that it happened, or that it’s going to happen. And if you’re a miserable person who thinks that good people die young and evil corporations rule everything, there is enough proof in the world that that’s true. But if you’re someone who believes that good people are doing amazing things no matter how small, and that there’s beauty or whatever in the midst of all the darkness, you’re going to see that proof, too. And you’re going to ignore the dark shit, or see it and it doesn’t really affect your worldview. It’s about fighting back dark, evil murder thoughts and feeling like if I really want something, it happens, or it comes true in a totally weird, different way than I even expected.” ‘Garden Song’ is an ode to growing up, discovering yourself, and relationships.

‘Kyoto’ was the second single from Punisher and is one of the most upbeat tracks on the record – the lyrics main focus is Bridgers relationship with her father (at her live shows it’s dedicated to all the dads in the audience). It is a powerful exploration of the feelings associated with someone who played an abusive role in your life, and the turbulent feelings which surround that. However, the song also explores themes of wanting to be somewhere you’re not, constant dissatisfaction, and how feelings can be so contradictory.

Title track ‘Punisher’ is about one of Bridgers musical idols – the late Elliot Smith. Bridgers views herself as a punisher (an obsessed fan) of Smith. Bridgers has stated: “We would have lived less than a mile away from each other if he were alive right now, and now I know tons of his friends and have worked in studios that he’s worked in, and he just would’ve been around in such a heavy way, and I know his whole discography, I’ve read every book about him ever. So, the song is just kind of examining how it’s impossible to have a normal relationship with someone that you grew up with as, like, an idol.” Both this song and ‘Scott Street’ (featured on Bridgers debut) allude to lyrics in Smiths song ‘St. Ides Heaven’, e.g., the opening lyrics of ‘Punisher’ and the reference found in ‘Scott Street’ to open containers (drinking in public areas where drinking is prohibited). Bridgers references the Snow-White cottages where Smith lived and in an exchange with a fan on X (rest in peace Twitter) she stated that in the song she imagines Smith living with Snow White because due to his death before she discovered his music he is as much of a fictional character to her as the latter. The lyric “hear so many stories of you at the bar” alludes to Smiths struggles with alcohol abuse a theme explored in his own music, e.g., ‘Between The Bars’. Personally, I listen to 'Punisher' as a documentation of unconditional love towards someone - one in which you're able to recognise each-others faults and that's okay.

Autumn is fast approaching: ‘spooky szn’, earth tones, specialty drinks, horror films (for those of us who can stomach it, respect), a sprinkle of seasonal depression, and ‘Halloween’. Mean Girls defines Halloween as “the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it” – for the record I do not condone slut shaming anybody(!) but we can appreciate Tina Feys comedic one liners, it was 2004. Moving on… ‘Halloween’ is track five, and it explores the death of a romantic relationship where the spark has fizzled. As the track name suggests, it is a spooky song. As for the eerie instrumental and lyrics, I’ll let you interpret it for yourself.

‘Chinese Satellite’ is one of my personal favourites on the album – an exploration of religious sentiments through the lens of someone who is not religious. Religious people can find comfort in the fact that their life ultimately serves a greater purpose, they have a cause to dedicate themselves to. I am no expert and can only speak from personal experience, but I feel as though non-religious folk (like me) struggle with this idea of ‘purpose’, what are we here for? Are we achieving enough? What happens when we die? All these questions are the cost of free will. “Why would somebody do this on purpose, when they could do something else?” is a lyric from the first verse, I too struggle to fathom the idea that a being greater than ourselves created everything. Why? As a student of theology and religious studies it’s one of many questions I constantly ask myself. I used to attend church and identify as a Christian, then an agnostic, and now an atheist. There is a sense of community within a church which is undeniable, and I can appreciate the comfort many find in it – like this song explores, many would like to be wrong, but like Bridgers sings “I look at the sky and I feel nothing”. Also, fuck the evangelicals.

‘Moon Song’ and ‘Saviour Complex’ are explorations of relationships in which you give all of yourself to a person to get very little in return, and wanting to save everybody from their problems. Like most of Bridgers discography, both are deeply confessional.

‘ICU’ explores Bridgers past relationship with drummer and collaborator Marshall Vore – it’s got some witty one liners and I appreciate the instrumental around the third verse where Bridgers sings “now I can’t even get you to play the drums”, and then the drums cut and come in again, so fucking good. Not to mention, the 2020 performance of the song for the Late Late Show with He Who Shall Not Be Named, was one of the best pieces of TV I have ever seen.

‘Graceland Too’ features backup vocals from Bridgers boygenius counterparts Julien Baker and Lucy Dacus. Personally, I view it as a love song to the people in your life who from your perspective have had it tougher than others. From my experience, those people are usually the kindest people you’ll meet. ‘Graceland Too’ has a folky instrumental (Bridgers makes good use of the banjo), and this folk aesthetic is carried onto the final track ‘I Know The End’ which also features Baker and Dacus. What is a final track without a crescendo? When you first listen to ‘I Know The End’ it may strike you as dreary and desolate, but when that two minute mark hits things pick up. Not to be cheesy, but this song has had such a profound impact on my life, words can't do it justice. The lyrics: "I'll find a new place to be from, a haunted house with a picket fence, to float around and ghost my friends", fucking hell. 'I Know The End' finishes the album on a cathartic note – one in which you can let out all the emotion you’ve built up during listening, what might that be? Screaming, of course.